Wow, it’s been about a year since I accepted a full-time position with the landscape architecture firm I am currently working with! The passage of time is a crazy thing! I remember after accepting the position trying to find different posts & recommendations for how to settle into a new city and make friends. The articles I found about moving to a new city were focused on college-aged kids. Not the most helpful for someone saying goodbye to college.
Well, I am happy to report that living in Denton has been one of the best experiences so far! I have friends that I love, a job that is great, and an adorable pet! While I would love to just share only the highlights of my life post-grad, I honestly didn’t get to feeling like I was settled into my new city till September! I remember being so scared in August about if I was going to make any female friends at all! All of that to say, I’ve been where you are currently!
Being lonely isn’t fun, and moving to a new city inevitably means you’ll probably be lonely for a bit. I wanted to share some tips and social exercises for succeeding in your new city!
Give Yourself Time
First off, give yourself time! It takes time to get settled into a new place. I know we love in an instant gratification world, but trust me when I say you acclimate. It’s easy to go “OMG, I made a huge mistake, I’m so lonely”, but if you persevere for a little while, you might find yourself driving around with an “I love Denton” stick on your car. No? Just me? Ok.
Be a Tourist
You won’t ever feel settled if you can’t even find your local Walmart. Funny enough, the first thing I do in any new city is to go to Walmart. It’s a consistent force in my life. From there, I like to drive around, find my favorite coffee shop, and a good restaurant. If you know the lay of the land, your new city will become a lot less of a mystery and more familiar.
Follow Local Businesses Instagrams
Hands down one of the best recommendations I can give is to go on a follow spree of all the local businesses, parks department, etc. in your new town. This way you’ll find out about all the fun & trendy events happening in your area! For example, I found out about a candle making event where I met some gals just from following a yoga group’s account! Oh, and while you’re on a following spree, follow my Instagram! I have a goal of having 1000 followers! Please help!
Find a Sport to Learn
When I first moved here I joined a workout studio that did a multitude of classes. Unfortunately, I didn’t meet anyone. Every time I went (which was 3 times a week) I’d be asked if I was new… So then I decided to learn tennis! I’ve always wanted to learn tennis and it’s been a great community and something I always look forward too!
Adopt a Pet
While sometimes I wonder if I adopted a Demigorgan and not a cat, having a pet in my apartment has substantially helped with loneliness. Now, don’t just go adopt a pet because you are lonely! Please adopt responsibly! Having a little friend to spend time with while you are adjusting is helpful. I started to feel more like Denton was my home after adopting Apple!
Join a Church
Joining a church was honestly the best way that I have made true friends *cue Hannah Montana song*. Church is all about being a part of a community. This lends it’s self to finding a group of people to connect with. Additionally, chances are the friends you make at church will share the same core values as you, which is a strong foundation for any relationship to flourish! I will say, I think finding the right church is a lot like dating. You might need to go on a few first dates before you go steady with one (am I old for still saying “go steady”?).
Moving to a new city is hard! It’s scary and can be lonely. I hope these tips help someone out there combat that initial loneliness in a new city. Trust me, you will get settled & you will make friends! Give it time (easier said than done, I know).
Let me know in the comments if you have moved anywhere new! What things helped you?
